Skip to main content

I wish

I wish people knew what breathing felt like for me. I am always embarrassed when I can't keep up with my peers, when I'm out of breath after walking up a flight of stairs, when I take awkward breaths in the middle of talking because I need oxygen. People give me looks that say, "wow, you're out of shape," or "you should get to the gym more often". I work my behind off to keep my lungs as healthy as I can, but I guarantee you that breathing with 60% lung function is a lot different than breathing at 100%, even if you work-out often. However, there's no way to really describe my breathing to a non-CFer. If people could breathe with my lungs for a day, maybe they'd understand the struggle I go through on a daily basis but am unable to verbalize.

Maybe they wouldn't abuse their bodies as much as they do.  

I wish people knew how furious it makes me when they take their health for granted. I can barely keep myself from giving smokers a piece of my mind when I see them walking nonchalantly down the street, cigarette in hand. I want to tell people off when they talk about smoking pot as if it's normal and healthy or when they talk about getting too drunk the night before to remember anything. You have been blessed by God with a healthy, able body, and you're going to go mess that up? Live a day in my shoes, and then tell me if you'll pick up those unhealthy habits again. I think the answer would be a resounding no. I'm not going to apologize for coughing when you're smoking near me, or walking away when you're talking about how much alcohol you can drink before passing out. I just can't stand seeing people take advantage of their life. The next time you're about to abuse your body, think of me. Think of the fact that life is precious. Think about doing all you can to protect your health. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

CF Walk Letter 2018

Dear friends and family,
I hope this letter finds you doing well! My life looks pretty different this year from last year. In May, I graduated with my master’s in communication sciences and disorders. I started working as a speech-language pathologist in June for a company called SpeechCare, and in July, Eric and I got married. That was a very busy couple months! I love my job; I work mainly with adults with intellectual and/or social disabilities to help improve their communication skills. My clients bring me so much joy! I love being able to help them communicate better with others. Eric and I are also loving being married. Living with Cystic Fibrosis has taught us to never take the time we’re given for granted, and we are making sure we soak up all the moments we’re given and go on plenty of fun adventures. 
My health has been a bit of a struggle in the past few years. I had a round of IV antibiotics in May and then again in September and January. I will be starting IVs within the ne…

The day that was yesterday

Wow. What a day yesterday was. Here’s what happened:
At around 4:45, my hand became numb and tingly. Because I’m a knowledgeable SLP, my first thought was “oh my gosh I’m having a stroke”. Although the numbness was my first (and only) symptom, it was so bizarre how my hand just all of a sudden lost feeling in it. About 5-7 minutes into the numbness sensation, it started traveling up my arm and reached about midway up my forearm. Due to my history of a PE and being on Amicar (a blood clotter) right now because of a lung bleed, pretty much the only option was to go to the ER. I called CF clinic, and they confirmed that I should head over there. The ER is the most disgusting place, especially in the middle of cold and flu season. They also apparently have never heard of CF protocol because I had to demand to be put back in a room immediately and for everyone who came in my room to be gowned, masked, and gloved. From the beginning to the end of the 5 hour ER stay, it was pretty disastrous.…

Thankful in the hard times

With a disease like cystic fibrosis, it can be easy to get lost in all the pain, fear, and frustrations and lose sight of what we have to be thankful for. This year has been rough. I started the year with a blood clot, quickly followed by increasing worry about the state of health care in America, all while losing a significant amount of lung function and dealing with way too many lung bleeds. However, no matter how hard the year, I believe it’s always important to reflect on the many blessings we have been given. It’s too easy to wallow in self-pity and pain otherwise. So this post is dedicated to just that—thanking God for all He has given me. 
I’m thankful for... My new husband ❤️. As I’ve said before, many CFers wonder if they will ever find someone who will choose to love them day in and day out with all the stresses that come with cystic fibrosis. Being the spouse of someone with CF is not for the weak or faint of heart. My husband has taken a crash course in medical terms, health…