Skip to main content

He's teaching me

This may come as a shock to you (note the sarcasm), but I tend to be very opinionated about everything from what's right and wrong to judging the character of my peers. I have a very black and white personality. There's very little wiggle room for discussion for important mattes in my mind. This is both a blessing and a hindrance to my walk with Christ. Obviously, it's a blessing because I have a firm moral sense of right and wrong. I'm quick to point out my failings because I know in my gut when I mess up. Therefore, I am good at catching myself before I do something I will regret later on. However, I am also quick to point out when other people make mistakes. I do not have the spiritual gift of mercy, so too often I judge people based on my perception of them. I focus on a person's mistakes rather than seeing him or her as God sees him or her--clean, pure, and forgiven (if that person loves the Lord and has accepted Christ as Savior). Who am I to judge a person's heart and decide if he or she really loves Jesus? That is not up to me. A person's past actions do not necessarily determine his or her heart's desires. God has been teaching me this year how to use my gift of discernment properly without abusing it and judging others. Although I'm far from understanding how to be merciful or, let's be honest, how to love everyone I come in contact with, I pray that I'm growing in my relationship with Christ on a daily basis and that His presence is showcased to the world through my life.


Popular posts from this blog

Exciting news!!

It's been awhile since I've written a blog post. This semester has been busy--not only because of school stuff, but also because of exciting life things. About a month ago, the most amazing man got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! And of course, I said yes!

Honestly, there were times that I questioned if I would ever marry someone. Living with cystic fibrosis is hard. Choosing to be with someone with cystic fibrosis is almost crazy. Think about it; I am not a normal 23 year old. I have to plan and plan and plan to make sure I fit breathing treatments, exercise, and eating into my schedule. When I travel, I have to take a crazy amount of stuff with me--my Vest, nebulizers, compressor, pills, inhaled medication, puffers, and snacks. I have to make sure I sleep 8-9 hours a night because my body uses more energy than most, and I need sleep to fight infection. I have to have a course of IVs at least twice a year. It's hard to be spontaneous and adventurous because CF…

CF limits

I was always told I could do anything.

That CF couldn't stop me.

That, even though my day to day life looked a little different with treatments and pills and hospitalizations, I could still be "normal".

I'm finding out now that's not necessarily the case.

Growing up, I knew I was different, but I still functioned like a normal kid. The only time I remember CF limiting me was my freshman and sophomore years in high school. My doctor, mom, and I made the decision to sit out of marching band my freshman year and to keep me on the sidelines running the metronome and helping how I could without actually participating my sophomore year. Junior year I was finally able to join marching band, and my senior year I was a drum major, so CF didn't limit me that much by the end of it all. I finished college in four years with a major, a minor, honors, and summa cum laude. I am in grad school now and will graduate on time summa cum laude with my masters in speech pathology.…

The false narrative

Today I was at church with my parents. After the baby dedication, the pastor prayed over the families. It was a fine prayer until he said something along the lines of "raising kids in a Christian home is the best way to ensure kids grow up healthy". This is when I opened my eyes and tuned out the rest of the prayer. Honestly, this is where I tuned out the rest of the service. This false narrative is exactly why American Christianity can be so out of touch with the world.
No. No. No. This is not how God works. Yes, in a world without struggle and pain and heartache, I wouldn't have cystic fibrosis. But in our current, broken world God uses illness and weakness to prove His strength and power and love. If God wanted to heal me, I have full confidence that He could and that He would. I know there are people who have experienced divine healing. But in many cases, God uses our weaknesses rather than spontaneously healing us. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul says, "But He (the Lo…