Today is one of those days I do not feel like rejoicing at all. To begin with, this week has been absolutely jam packed with assignments and activities. All of those things are good things, but my busy schedule has led me to feeling exhausted. Add on top of the exhaustion the freezing cold weather, which has felt pretty miserable while trekking across campus. And finally, I am struggling to breathe. My lungs started hurting yesterday, and all day today I've been gasping for air and attempting to force myself to take deep breaths. If you saw me today, you would know it has not been one of my better days--I'm a mess! How in the world am I supposed to rejoice when I feel like my physical body is falling apart? How am I to be joyful when the only thing I can concentrate on is my next breath? These are the questions I ponder now as I'm writing this blog post. Rejoicing ALWAYS is hard stuff. No one said the Bible commands an easy lifestyle. We have to work at rejoicing. Yes, my day has been pretty low. And yes, I intensely feel the pain of living with CF today. But I can rejoice in knowing that the God of all creation loves me and cares for me. I can rejoice that this earth is not my home. I can rejoice in knowing that one day, there will be no more disease, no more pain, no more crying.
In the same way, I can give thanks in all circumstances only when I realize that my God will never forsake me. I'm in a huge waiting point in my life right now. Being the impatient person I am, how am I supposed to give thanks in the waiting? How am I supposed to be grateful for my current situation, even when I have no clue what is going on in my life? Even with all the uncertainty and confusion in my life, I am content. Praise God that I am alive and breathing (even if the breathing is a struggle). Praise God for all He's blessed me with. Praise God that He knows all things and is completely sovereign. If I take my eyes away from the small and insignificant problems in my life, I will see how to give thanks in all circumstances.
God, teach me how to always be joyful. Remind me to pray continually. Show me how to be thankful, no matter what is going on in my life. May my life be a reflection of Your goodness and glory.