Some of my best blogging times have occurred while I'm at the gym. I don't like watching TV in general, and my mind tends to go crazy if I just listen to music the whole time I'm working out. Therefore, I blog. Obviously, I can't really run and blog well, but I can bike or get on the elliptical and type pretty decently. It's one of my many talents.
So here I am, biking away on the stationary bike. (By the way, have you ever thought how weird it is to bike, jog or stairstep in place? You're not actually moving forward, but your body is moving as if you were. Who came up with this stuff?) Anyway, as I'm exercising, I can't help but notice how out of shape I must seem to people who don't know about my CF. I'm huffing and puffing on such a low level of resistance, I'm trying to cover up my progress so others can't see how I'm doing. Not to mention the fact that I'm a sweaty hot mess. How I yearn to be able to run a mile without stopping to catch my breath! How I wish I could pedal my bike fast enough to actually look like my workout is challenging. But I can't. I can't keep up with a normal 20 year old. I can't climb a flight of stairs without getting a little winded. I can't bike home from class without needing to take it slower than most would. And I certainly can't run the whole bear trail (walk, yes. Run, no). I know I shouldn't be so self-conscious about my physical ability. I have a lung disease for crying out loud. It just gets frustrating because I make a valiant effort to stay in the best shape I can-- I go to the gym at least 5 days a week and do both cardio and weight exercises--yet my lungs are in worse shape than people who forgo exercise all together. If you didn't know, you can't get very far exercising if your lungs are in subpar shape. However, I will not let this minor detail discourage me. Despite the weird looks I get for coughing at the gym, pedaling slowly on the bike, or lifting a minimal amount of weight, I will continue to make exercise a priority. Who cares what others think? Exercise makes me feel good, keeps my lungs stable, and makes me feel accomplished. Plus, maybe one day I'll be able to run a mile without stopping. Who knows? Only time will tell!