When it Becomes Hard to Wait...
"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act...Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him" Psalm 37:5 & 7
I will never forget the whirlwind of emotions I experienced on this day. So much joy...
I felt a swarm of butterflies filling my stomach (you know, the good kind) and my heart was rapidly beating inside of my chest. As I was waiting behind the door, my heart was full of expectation. I was eager to feel the touch of his hand. It was as if we were about to hold hands for the very first time-there was something so beautiful & pure about that feeling.
What is he thinking right now?
He is excited? He is nervous?
As I stood in position behind the door, I could hear his foot steps coming towards me. All the sudden I had a surge of "giddiness" rush from the top of my head to my toes. I wanted to leap out from behind the door with all that was within me, and embrace him by wrapping my exceptionally long & lanky arms around him.
I knew I was to wait a little bit longer...for the perfect time.
I could feel his presence near and immediately, peace took its place in my heart. I reached my hand out from behind the door only to be met by the warm touch of my almost-husband's hand. I felt safe, excited & at rest. I was so comforted by the sound of his voice as he began to pray the sweetest prayer over us, the commitment we were about to make and our marriage.
Our hearts were surrendered, laid bare & made ready for what was to come.
"In Jesus' sweet and Holy Name, Amen."
He squeezed my hand, whispered "I'll see you soon" and walked back to his room. My heart could hardly take it, I was tired of waiting and so ready to take those next steps in our journey.
Nothing could possibly prepare my heart for the glory that was experienced when those doors opened & it was okay to walk through. When I was finally able to walk towards my love and become one flesh with him. When we stood hand-in-hand committing our lives to the Lord and a covenant with Him. It was breathtaking.
As I look through these photos, I can't help but be reminded of this process of...waiting.
Waiting for the doors to open to walk down to Jeremy.
Waiting behind the door to hold his hand & pray together.
Waiting the night before, laying in bed & fighting sleep due to so much excitement and joy.
Waiting & anticipating the weeks leading up to our wedding day.
Waiting & preparing in our months of engagement.
Waiting in our season of dating (all two months of it :)).
Waiting to hear from the Lord for direction for the "okay" to date.
Waiting late at night, praying for my future husband & fighting for our relationship long before we met.
Waiting on direction for a major? Should I change it?
Waiting on college acceptance letters...where should I go?
Waiting to finally pass the test & for the keys to drive into "freedom" :)
Waiting with my sweet girlfriends as we encouraged each other through our hardships & heartbreaks.
We all know waiting & we all experience waiting in the different season of our lives. Whether we are waiting on "the one," the right college, that precious baby boy or girl, that "dream job," direction for a career path, an awaited phone call from the doctors, and the list goes on....we know waiting. We know the emotions of fear, excitement, anticipation, regret, anxiety & longing.
What I find myself asking in those moments of waiting, is; do I know peace, joy, patience, faithfulness, hope, comfort, love, stability & contentment. Because these are promises offered to us during our seasons of waiting. Those attributes are gifts from above, which we have the choice of resting in & experiencing as we await what is to come.
As we sit, stand, kneel & lay in position waiting to walk through the door.
They are the very fruit that is produced during our season of hardships, trials, storms, uncertainty and waiting.
Throughout Scripture, we see God's call to wait on Him. We see Him beckoning His people to come to Him to find rest. We see Him offering promises, restoration & peace to all who fall at His feet. We see Him offer grace & mercy as we stumble to get to that position.
As the doors to the sanctuary opened, I experienced a joy & glory like never before. That particular season of waiting has prepared my heart for not just a day, but a life-long commitment and journey. It is something I could not possibly see, in its fullness, until those doors were opened and I stepped foot into this journey of marriage.
As we wait, we are being prepared to experience something so much greater & fuller than we could possibly imagine or create for ourselves. As I think back to the many different seasons of waiting and the waiting I am currently experiencing, I can't help but cling to the promise of God in scripture-His offer of hope and promise.
"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act...Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:5 & 7
"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!" Psalm 31:24
"But they who wait on for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
I am also given a glimpse of the bigger picture...greater purpose. As we experience moments & seasons of waiting here on earth, we are ultimately learning to wait on & long for the moment we will stand, kneel, fall & bow before Jesus Christ himself, full in all His glory. When we finally get to take those steps towards our Creator...
Where sick are healed.
Where strength is renewed to its fullest.
Where tears are no more.
Where joy is complete.
Where the battle is won.
Where victory is found.
Where our hearts finds complete peace & rest.
Where imperfection comes face-to-face with perfection.
Where we are whole, spotless & radiant.
So, when it becomes hard to wait, when our hearts are weary, when our knees are too weak to stand... just remember God's promises. Remember to offer God all that you have & all that you are.
"Trust and He will act."
He is worth our all-our whole hearts-our commitment. In those moments of waiting, let's, together, begin sowing seeds of righteousness and watch a harvest of peace, joy, patience, faithfulness, hope, comfort, love, stability & contentment come forth as a result of our waiting, preparing us for that day. May we be eager, hearts full of expectation. May we long to experience his touch.
May we feel a surge of giddiness rush from the top of our heads to our toes as we wait for those doors to open when glory at it's fullest, is revealed.