Blue-Eyed Breather

Today is my 21st birthday. It's weird for many reasons. 1. I'M 21?!?! I don't feel that old. 2. I'm not with my twin sister on my birthday. This is one of only 3 birthdays in the 21 years I've been alive in which Katie and I have not been together on our birthday ("age" birth because I was sent to another hospital as soon as we were born, age 16 because I was in NYC for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with my high school marching band, and this year). Today feels so bizarre celebrating without her.  3. I'M 21?!?! Oh wait, I already said that. To commemorate the end of my 20th year and beginning of my 21st, I decided to write a list of things I learned in the past year. This list is not all-inclusive, but it's a good start to what God has been teaching me the last 365 days. 1. Stop caring so much about what other people think. People are going to form quick judgments. They're going to look at your outward achievements as a measure of ...

Hey blog readers! Happy Wednesday to you all.  Are any of you in the process of waiting? I know I am. I have a long list of things in my brain that I'm praying over and trying to wait patiently for. I trust God to reveal his plan for me one step at a time, but sometimes it would definitely be nice if those streps could occur without all of the pauses in between. A dear family friend of mine, Kristen writes a wonderful blog that all of you should check out if you get the chance (http://www.kristeneddleman.blogspot.com). Anyway, her blog recently was about waiting, and I felt like I should share it with you all. Enjoy! When it Becomes Hard to Wait... "Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act...Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him" Psalm 37:5 & 7 I will never forget the whirlwind of emotions I experienced on this day.  So much joy... So. Much. Anticipation. I felt a swarm of butterflies filling my stomach ...

Before you continue reading this post, I must warn you--it is full of sarcasm. I apologize; I'm in a sassy mood today. The good things about having an orphan disease: 1. If you tell someone about your disease, they often look at you like you're an alien. Hey, it's cool, I can be an alien. 2. If people have only heard about CF from their biology class, they think you're going to die any second, bringing on very entertaining bouts of freak-out moments. 3. You have a pretty good excuse to get out of physical activity, if you so choose to take it. ("I can't, my lungs will explode if I run). 4.  People question if you're actually sick because you don't look like their definition of "diseased"…. But really, this is actually a plus sometimes. I don't want people to see me and automatically associate me with sickness. 5. You have to explain your orphan disease in baby steps. People can't take in new information all at once. You mus...

Below is a blog written by Susie Davis about the idea of selfies. Although I think the problem of "selfies" ultimately comes down to intent, Susie makes some great points in her letter below. If you want to check out any more of her blogs, check them out at www.susiedavis.org dear daughters  … I’m writing because I worry. I know I shouldn’t but a mother does, you know. I’ve noticed a trend lately. One that had me curious ~ and now has me truly concerned. Yep, the social media phenomenon known as #selfies. Selfies: a picture you took of yourself … and posted online. It’s not that I think publishing self portraits is necessarily wrong. In some ways, it’s an exercise in creativity. Picking a camera angle, posing, snapping the shot ~ then rummaging thru endless filter options to get the just right effect.   Like this little arty number of me sitting in my robe, no make-up, etc. I took it just this morning ~ only took me a few minutes.  “An – exercise – in – cre...

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angles nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."--Romans 8:38-39 Have you ever realized the magnitude of those verses? If you are a believer in Christ Jesus, NOTHING you do or situation you are in could EVER separate you from our God. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. No sin. No shame. No regret. No embarrassment. No past. No future. No present. No mistake. No earthly desire. No choice. No trial. No tribulation. Nothing. You are forgiven and loved.  Romans 8:1-2 says, "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." You are free from the shame and grip of your sin. Did you hear that? Christ has set you free. You are no longer guilty but washed white as snow. Ch...

I want to feel beautiful. I want to be able to observe my disfigurations and marks and see strength. See triumph. See God's faithfulness. I want to look in the mirror and see a warrior. See a fighter. See a determined woman. I want to appreciate myself for who I am. Who I've been. Who I'm going to be. I'm tired of comparing myself to others. Tired of blaming CF. Tired of seeing all the damage it has done to me. I am precious. Despite all of my scars, inside and out. Despite my physical incapabilities due to CF. I am loved. By the God of all creation. By amazing and encouraging friends and family. I am unique. With this life that constantly keeps me on my toes. With my own personality traits, characteristics, and qualities. I am (*learning that I am*) beautiful.

One of the biggest inconveniences of having CF is the difficulty in traveling with all of my heavy equipment. Want to road trip for a day? You have to grab at least the puffer and flutter, along with pills and water. Want to spend the night somewhere? You have to evaluate if you're healthy enough to skip doing a Vest treatment or two and just use the puffer/flutter. If you are, you have to take that breathing stuff, pills for two days, a separate pill container for the pills taken at times other than mealtimes, kleenex, juice and snacks for blood sugar and calorie purposes, insulin, and anything else one might need for an overnight trip. If you're not healthy enough to switch out a Vest treatment for a puffer/flutter, you have to also take the Vest, Vest machine, and nebulizers and machine, along with inhaled medicine. Going on a trip any longer than that and, well, you might as well sit down and write a packing list so you don't forget anything vitally important. Usually...

Life is busy and hectic. Anyone agree? These past two weeks, I've felt like I haven't stopped moving. I've had projects, essays, tests, football games, church, connection time with friends, and to top it all off, I'm just flat-out exhausted (which is another issue in and of itself..hopefully not a medical thing, but we'll see). I haven't had the chance to take a breather and rest in the joy I have in Christ or to think about the many things I have to be thankful for. The whole month of November, I'm going to consciously set aside time to reflect on different blessings in my life. After all, this is the month of Thanksgiving--why not take the time to purposefully be thankful for something every day of the month? Today, I am thankful for my amazing college group at my home church in Waco. These fellow believers in Christ push me to grow deeper in my relationship with God and others. Every time I go to church, I leave feeling different because I am constantly...