Blue-Eyed Breather

People often say that God is good when things are going "their" way. Made an A on a test? God is good. A family member get a new job? God is good. A person healed of cancer or any other disease? God is good. You have lots of friends who love and support you? God is good. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not downplaying God in those situations. God is good! All of those things are great, and it's wonderful and necessary to recognize God in those situations and give Him glory. But what about when you bomb a test? What about when you get fired from a job? What about when a friend or family member isn't healed from a physical or mental disease? What about when you feel alone and isolated in the world? God is STILL good.  Let me repeat: God is still good.  As a Christian, our purpose is to glorify God with our lives by loving God and loving people--no matter what. We have a very limited view of God's big picture plan. Unlike humanity, He is sovereign ove...

"Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly." Sometimes, I need a little motivation. It's easy to get stuck in a rut of doing the same things day in and day out. It's easy to live a life based on the "checklist mentality", subconsciously (or consciously, either way) getting tasks done without much thought behind them or time spent processing your actions and beliefs. It's easy to have surface level relationships with people, to always work for another day, to ignore the blessings that exist in your life right now.  However, when life is structured around a checklist like this, can you really experience full joy and contentment? Can you really live a life that you'll look back on when you're on your death bed and praise God for everything that occurred? Can you really know people, and I mean know who they are in the very fiber of their being, and develop those lasting, legacy-leaving relationships? I ha...

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." --Hebrews 13:8 Goodness do I need to be reminded of that! So much in this world changes rapidly and unexpectedly. I can barely keep my head from spinning in circles. Imitaring the world's ways, I would fall pretty immediately from exhaustion and a chaotic existence. But I stand on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ and the truth of his death and resurrection. He is the same God as the one I served yesterday. And the day before that. And the month before that. And the year before that. And, well, you get my point. He will always be the same, forever and ever and ever into eternity. My God will NEVER change.  I am so thankful to worship such an almighty God. His love will never fail me. His grace overwhelms me. He will never leave me. He sees me in my deepest, darkest moments yet still cares for me. I don't deserve anything, yet I've been given everything, and I am certainly blessed.

I hate not being able to sleep. And yet here I am at 3:29, trying to do something that will distract me from the anxiety cycle about not being able to sleep. Here's kind of how it goes: I really need to sleep. Why am I not falling asleep? What's wrong with me?! This is a serious problem. What am I going to do tomorrow? I can't function without sleep. Crud. Wait, I need to stop thinking about this. Don't think about not being able to sleep, don't think about not being able to sleep.  Don't do it!! ...I really need to sleep. It's a bad cycle to get into. If doesn't help matters that I have a cold and know that I need sleep to fight off infection or that I am coughing and sniffling, which makes it harder to sleep. Body, PLEASE cooperate with me! God, give me rest. Because I really need sleep.

Hi friends! This is a blog post I read earlier today from Relevant Magazine. I think it has a lot of wisdom for people of all ages, even though the article itself was talking about things people in their 20s need to know how to do. Enjoy reading, and let this challenge you (I know it does me! Ex: I need to work on #4...) First things first, most twentysomethings are too hard on themselves. It’s one of the downsides of a youth-obsessed culture. We tend to think if we haven’t published our first book, planted our first church or gotten married by the time we’re 30, then we’re on the fast track for a lonely, penniless death which will be mourned by none. Sure, some people get famous when they turn 25. Some people also swim across the English Channel. Your twenties are a prime time to explore and grow, without all the baggage that comes with settling down and making your mark. (Jesus Himself was an unknown carpenter in a reviled corner of Israel until He was 30.) That said, ther...

"As I lose lung capacity, I find that fewer things are fun to do. So many things take too much energy. I like to save my energy for things that make me happy."--CF Roundtable blog You know what is scary for me? Thinking that I may not have the energy to keep doing the things I find enjoyable. I know that eventually, this wearing down happens to everyone. You get old, your body needs sleep and rest. You can't keep up with the same pace of life as when you were young. But for most people, that doesn't happen until the later stages of life when EVERYONE is slowing down. You age gradually with your friends. CF patients, however, tend to slow down a lot quicker than average. It takes so much dang energy to breathe and for our bodies to function at all! We clearly need more sleep and rest to keep going. Our energy reserves get used up in a hurry. But right now, I'm still able to live an active life. I go to school, work, go to church activities, hang out with frien...

PFTs-60%!!! Finally back in the 69s club, woo! Weight/appetite-Good (Two good weight checks in a row..what is this?) Symptoms-increased cough and sputum production Plan of Action- oral Bactrim for 2 weeks Today, I went to my regular CF check-up. I am proud to say that my PFTs were slightly improved, my weight was stable, and Dr. Fullmer told me that I should write a how-to book on managing CF in college. Honestly, CF appointments always make me a little anxious. I detest being "judged" on my "performance" based on a set of numbers I do not have full control over. Maybe that's the control freak in me coming out, I don't know. I do all I can to stay healthy, but sometimes it's just not enough. When I have a bad report, I feel disappointed in myself, almost like there was something I should have/could have done better, even though I know that's not the case. CF is so unpredictable, as well! I could be feeling great and have awful lung function...