Skip to main content


In recent years, my body has not responded to lung infections as well as it used to. I get low-grade fevers, aches, and have difficulty breathing. It's like I'm taking a beating! Unfortunately, after being on steroids for five days, all the junk in my lungs has been stirred up. Since Thursday, I've been flat out exhausted, and my cough has gotten significantly worse. And now today, I have a slight fever. Boooo. Because I'm already on oral antibiotics and the bacteria I grow is resistant to almost every drug available, I'll be starting IVs this coming week. I was hoping to postpone the meds until after school gets out in the middle of May, but with the way I'm feeling now, that's just not possible. This will be my second time to do IVs on my own without constant parental assistance. I know I can administer the medicines no problem and that I'll be fine remembering my IV schedule. However, it's frustrating that I'm needing to deal with illness now. CF takes up so much of my time, energy, and conversations already, so the last thing I want to do at the end of my sophomore year at Baylor is to have to think about this disease. I want to spend time with friends I won't see for three months. I want to be able to stay up late talking with people. I want to keep making excellent grades in all my classes. I want to enjoy every second of life God has given me. When I'm so exhausted and breathless, it's hard to do all these things.

No one said life would be easy. Thankfully, I serve a God who is completely Sovereign and is working all things for His glory and my good. Even when I don't understand what's going on in my life, I trust Him. So, in this bout of illness, I will lean on the Lord to provide me strength. I will pray for endurance to fight. I will rest in His will and find peace in His presence.


  1. you're an amazing writer! SO glad that you are seeing God and his providence throughout a tough season- and that you love to blog too!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Exciting news!!

It's been awhile since I've written a blog post. This semester has been busy--not only because of school stuff, but also because of exciting life things. About a month ago, the most amazing man got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! And of course, I said yes!

Honestly, there were times that I questioned if I would ever marry someone. Living with cystic fibrosis is hard. Choosing to be with someone with cystic fibrosis is almost crazy. Think about it; I am not a normal 23 year old. I have to plan and plan and plan to make sure I fit breathing treatments, exercise, and eating into my schedule. When I travel, I have to take a crazy amount of stuff with me--my Vest, nebulizers, compressor, pills, inhaled medication, puffers, and snacks. I have to make sure I sleep 8-9 hours a night because my body uses more energy than most, and I need sleep to fight infection. I have to have a course of IVs at least twice a year. It's hard to be spontaneous and adventurous because CF…

CF limits

I was always told I could do anything.

That CF couldn't stop me.

That, even though my day to day life looked a little different with treatments and pills and hospitalizations, I could still be "normal".

I'm finding out now that's not necessarily the case.

Growing up, I knew I was different, but I still functioned like a normal kid. The only time I remember CF limiting me was my freshman and sophomore years in high school. My doctor, mom, and I made the decision to sit out of marching band my freshman year and to keep me on the sidelines running the metronome and helping how I could without actually participating my sophomore year. Junior year I was finally able to join marching band, and my senior year I was a drum major, so CF didn't limit me that much by the end of it all. I finished college in four years with a major, a minor, honors, and summa cum laude. I am in grad school now and will graduate on time summa cum laude with my masters in speech pathology.…

The false narrative

Today I was at church with my parents. After the baby dedication, the pastor prayed over the families. It was a fine prayer until he said something along the lines of "raising kids in a Christian home is the best way to ensure kids grow up healthy". This is when I opened my eyes and tuned out the rest of the prayer. Honestly, this is where I tuned out the rest of the service. This false narrative is exactly why American Christianity can be so out of touch with the world.
No. No. No. This is not how God works. Yes, in a world without struggle and pain and heartache, I wouldn't have cystic fibrosis. But in our current, broken world God uses illness and weakness to prove His strength and power and love. If God wanted to heal me, I have full confidence that He could and that He would. I know there are people who have experienced divine healing. But in many cases, God uses our weaknesses rather than spontaneously healing us. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul says, "But He (the Lo…