I'm starting my senior year of college next Monday. How in the world am I old enough for that?! Sometimes, I feel like I've lived a lifetime. Others, I still feel like a kid. Today, I'm definitely feeling like a child, not old enough to be living on my own, handling my medical care, being less than a year away from graduating college and (Lord willing) starting grad school, and having friends getting married. Yet here I am, and all those things are a reality in my life. Time is a funny thing; you don't notice its passing until you look back to see how far you've come.
Looking back over these past three years of college, I can see how much I've grown and changed. I'm no longer the same person I was in high school. For example, I was a Christian in high school, but I have grown so much in my faith in college. I've learned what it means to trust God in every single circumstance. God has developed in me a love for the Bible that wasn't nearly as fierce in high school, and I have a desire to serve others more intentionally and selflessly than ever before. I was also a natural leader in high school; people looked up to me and respected my God-given authority in band, PALs, and academics. However, I am beginning to understand what it means to lead by example, to put others first, and to sacrifice my own desires and wants. In high school, I didn't understand the difference between happiness and joy. In college, I've gone through the most severe period of loneliness I could ever imagine, health crises beyond belief, and intense feelings of seemingly uncontrollable anxiety. Yet God has developed in me a joy that comes from knowing Christ and drinking deeply in the pool of His unending peace and love that is present in the good times and the bad.
Yes, time is indeed a funny thing. I am so excited about what this next and final year of college has in store for me! A year from now,or even 10 years from now, it will be interesting to look back and see how God will use my senior year experiences to shape the woman I am becoming.