Blue-Eyed Breather

Sometimes, I forget that coughing all the time isn't normal. I forget that when most people get a cold, they don't then feel like a truck ran over them for a good month. I forget that most people don't have to remember to take their pills or else their stomach will "thank" them by sending them to bed to curl up in a ball and/or to the bathroom until the immense, knife-like pain finally eases up. I forget that some people have no idea what it feels like to spend the night in the hospital or to get blood drawn at the sign of any little problem or even to just go under anesthesia (and wake up from it..I don't know which is worse).  I was reminded of all this again these last few weeks. I got a cold about a week and a half ago, and honestly, I have felt worse than I have since probably my pneumonia episode at Christmas. My lungs are fighting to keep going, struggling to keep the infection at bay. However, between the cold and the CF bacteria already in my lungs, I...

I went to the ENT today. When I left the appointment,I felt like I'd been run over by an 18-wheeler going 60mph.  Let me give you a little bit of my medical history. Two years ago, I had the "big" sinus surgery. Sinus surgeries are pretty common for CF patients. I had a few surgeries when I was younger to help open up the sinuses and whatnot. However, two years ago, my sinuses were fully developed, and my ENT could go in for the kill. He not only worked on the mucous membrane to remove nasal polyps and to open up airways, but he also fixed my deviated septum by chiseling away bone in my nose. I am not fully aware of what went down in that surgery, but I do know that I was the most miserable I've ever been in my life the week after surgery. I had packing stuffed up my nose, and I could only breathe out of my mouth for a week. Whenever I tried to go to sleep, I would subconsciously start trying to breathe in and out of my nose, which made me experience sleep apnea type ...

I love mornings. I know that's strange for a college student to say, but I'm such a morning person. I enjoy waking up before it's super bright outside and sitting in the still quiet of the incoming day. I also do some of my best thinking in the morning (However, if you catch me around 12 midnight-4am, don't expect me to say anything intelligent. I have to have my sleep for me to be able to put words together coherently). This morning, I've been thinking about soccer (football, for my nonAmerican friends). Go with me here. The World Cup has been going on, and I've watched several of the matches. The players work incredibly hard for 90 minutes trying to score more goals than the opponent. By the end of the match, they have sweat pouring out in buckets from every sweat gland in their body, and they are exhausted and potentially injured. But none of that matters to them. They dedicate those 90 minutes to doing whatever it takes to win the match. They go after the pr...

The following blog was written by Janelle Paule and was posted at www.relevantmagazine.com. I resonate so much with her post because comparison is something I struggle with. I hope her words will remind you to be uniquely you and to continue to grow into the person God has designed you to be!  I first got sucked into the trap of comparison in middle school.  When I entered sixth grade I didn’t think too much about how I looked. I wore the same oversized sweatshirt to school every day and slicked my hair into a perfect half ponytail each morning. I had big ambitions. I dreamed of one day writing a book. Secretly, like every good-hearted 12-year-old, I thought she could change the world. But soon after I began middle school, I dreamed of landing a spot at the glorified “cool kids table” during lunch. Here sat prepubescent, smooth-talking boys who were convinced that the only way into a girl’s heart was to annoy them to no end. These were the girls who wore the trendiest clothes...

Tonight, I saw The Fault in Our Stars. I won't spoil anything for you, but it's about two kids with cancer. Anyway the girl, Hazel, has lung cancer. She carries around an oxygen tank, struggles to breathe, and can "talk medical" like nobody's business.  Needless to say, watching the movie hit extremely close to home for me. Some of the scenes on the big screen brought back memories of health problems past as well as voiced some of my own concerns about living with a lung disease. For starters, Hazel has to use oxygen and wears a nasal cannula all day every day. I absolutely despise wearing that thing. I have a hard time looking people in the eyes when I'm wearing it, and honestly, I feel like a completely different person. It's hard to explain how it changes me, but you'll have to trust me that it does. Throughout the whole movie, I couldn't shake the smell of the oxygen or the feeling of the nasal cannula. There's also a scene in the movie whe...