Blue-Eyed Breather

Most of the time, I don't want anyone to know I have CF. I have no desire for people to know how hard it is for me to breathe sometimes or how much pain I'm in when I forget to take my pills or my stomach just decides not to cooperate. I hide how my health is doing from the majority of people, simply because it's impossible to explain CF fully enough to do it justice to a healthy person. However, there are definitely times I wish everyone knew about my CF totally and completely. Take today in anatomy and physiology, for example. I sit in the 2nd row in the middle of the room. We are pretty packed in that room, so naturally I am surrounded by peers. I had a minor coughing fit before class started today. Nothing big, just a few typical CF coughs. After the spell had passed, the chick who sits in front of me turned around, glared at me, and then purposefully scooted her desk a good six inches forward. I kid you not, there was a considerable amount of room between her desk and ...

Have you ever felt like your world is just falling apart? You don't know where God is, what's going on, or how to take the next step forward. You feel like your whole life is spiraling downward before your very eyes, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Maybe the cause of your feelings is an illness. Maybe it's from a broken relationship with a trusted friend, significant other, or parent. Maybe you lost a job, or the fear of the future is consuming you. Am I striking any chords with anyone yet? I know I've experienced this feeling of helplessness and worry before. Honestly, who hasn't? (Side note--if you say you've never had any monumental troubles in your life, I'm pretty sure you're lying to yourself). Life is hard! When I'm at a low point in my life and feel suffocated by my circumstances, I can't help but cry out to the Lord. (Actually, I know I need God ALWAYS.) Psalm 23 says that He "restores my soul". I love that pict...

It's football season in Texas. If you're not from Texas, you may not understand the weight that sentence carries. Let me try to explain. Football season in Texas is CRAZY. Everyone rallies around their team to cheer them on, even if they know nothing about football. There's so much excitement in the air! You don't miss your team's game. Period. And if you do, you pretend you watched it. It doesn't matter what the weather is like, you WILL be at home games, rain, shine, heat, or ice. Saturdays are consumed with watching football. Rivalries are like none other. I can't fully describe football in Texas, but know that it is an atmosphere like you've never experienced before. Baylor's first home game is today against Wofford. I know, who's Wofford? (It's some school from North Carolina). But even though this game should be a piece of cake, I will be there in the 100 degree heat, cheering my bears to victory! I am just as excited as everyone el...

Some of my best blogging times have occurred while I'm at the gym. I don't like watching TV in general, and my mind tends to go crazy if I just listen to music the whole time I'm working out. Therefore, I blog. Obviously, I can't really run and blog well, but I can bike or get on the elliptical and type pretty decently. It's one of my many talents. So here I am, biking away on the stationary bike. (By the way, have you ever thought how weird it is to bike, jog or stairstep in place? You're not actually moving forward, but your body is moving as if you were. Who came up with this stuff?) Anyway, as I'm exercising, I can't help but notice how out of shape I must seem to people who don't know about my CF. I'm huffing and puffing on such a low level of resistance, I'm trying to cover up my progress so others can't see how I'm doing. Not to mention the fact that I'm a sweaty hot mess. How I yearn to be able to run a mile without st...

I'm halfway through my undergrad. WHAT. When did that happen?? The older I get, the faster time seems to move. I think it's important to take time to reflect on lessons learned in the past as well as think about any future goals because that's how you grow and mature as a person.  I don't want to stay stagnant; I desire to see growth in all areas of my life!  I've typed up a simple list of goals for my junior year and plan to revisit them frequently. It'll be a sort of accountability for me, and I'm excited to see how God uses these goals to glorify Him. 1. Be approachable and available. I come across as being a bit closed off, usually because I'm not the life of the party or super great at small talk. I'm reserved and really don't feel the need to keep conversation constantly flowing. When I talk, it usually has a purpose. However, this can come across as being uninterested or disengaged. I must learn to be an approachable friend so that peopl...

I put pretty much every detail of my life in a calendar--my workout routine, my class assignments, my appointments and medical needs, even my social "hang out" times. Call me crazy, but it makes me excited to organize my life. When my many to-do lists are made and calendars created, I feel like I can breathe easy. Part of this is because of my personality. My mom is an organizer, and I definitely take after her. I'm WAY more productive when I have a plan of action, and I love this efficiency. A little organization never hurt anyone, right?? I also know that I am more organized because of having to balance CF with daily life. I have to manage my time wisely so that I can do breathing treatments, get enough sleep, eat enough calories, exercise, go to school, spend time with friends and family, mature in my spiritual life, get homework done, and maybe (just maybe) have some downtime. Planning has been key to my life thus far. But here's the problem.  I am not ver...

It's quote day on my blog today! Enjoy the quotes below along with my comments about how the quote touches my life.  Outward beauty will fade. I don't care if you're Miss America or the highest paid model on the runway. Our physical bodies are wasting away. No exceptions. Sorry to burst your bubble.  Five, ten, even  twenty years from now, will people see beauty pouring from you by the way you live your life and through the confidence you have in your identity in Christ? Or will they simply remember a pretty face?  The world we live in is constantly changing. When we think we've found some solid footing, an earthquake shakes through our lives, and we fall flat on our faces. I personally NEED the assurance from God that He is my rock and my foundation. With Him, my solid ground will not be shaken; I will not sink. "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand." Loving God and loving people are what we are called to do. All of our actions s...